we're all in this together.

I really got to stop ripping stuffs off tumblr, smack it into this space and make that a post, but tumblr's just aweeesomeeeeee :p Besides, I've been making myself stay home as much as possible so that I can do my revision for *gasp* exams, but the fact that you're reading this proves that it obviously is a failed attempt. I've given up anw hahahaha :B Something reallyreally horrid (to me) happened this morning and I broke down immediately because just when I put my soul into it and really do something with all my heart & work really really really hard for it, my hope was crushed and my greatest chance, gone. If you've seen my wall post from a week ago, "Sometimes we try too hard and it all goes wrong." True, but this incident today also made me realise " Its better to try too hard and it all goes wrong than to not try at all and it goes wrong". Simply speaking, Do your best. (;

Okay, gawd, I'm sounding all philosophical like some wise old granny, except I aint wise at all. Its all okay now, but I had to cancel my date with vanessa today cos I was really upset at that time :(

See, love & hope & wishes. (:

L.O.V.E

We pick up at a very young age from the world around us that it's about winning, its about impressing, that our value and our worth and our acceptance comes from how good we are, how fast, how better, how skilled,how smart, how competent, we quickly realize that the way to get ahead is to raise yourself up, to take the path of ascent, to climb higher and higher, but thats exhausting. And so we spend all this energy because we learn how to construct these masks and facades to cover up all the things we arent.

Its exhausting.

Its insane.

Its hard.

Its mad.

It ruins everything.

Its wearing me out.

But I'll continue, I dont have the courage to stop.

Our teachers at school constantly remind us to work hard, strive for excellence, be better, better, better, excel, excel, excel, work, work, work, be the top, best, first. But thats exhausting. This exam shit, streaming exam in 1.5weeks time, just makes it all worse. 

A race to get into the best classes, get the best courses, get the best teachers. Ace everything. All work and no play.

I once told a teacher that I go out and have fun on weekends and she was absolutely shocked. She made it sound like a crime. ._. In her opinion, we could only fully enjoy ourselves during the holidays, but the only holidays I can really let go of everything and enjoy are the end of year holidays, or during Chinese new year, before the school term starts, every other holidays in between the year, we still have to head back to school for extra lessons, pilleeeesss of homework to last us through the lengthy break and worries of forgetting everything when the new term starts. 

But then, as much as I hate it and rant about it, I dont have the balls to stop , unless I can settle for a miserable pay and let happiness and freedom fill my stomach, but no, I cant. I want a good & certain future.But as long as we dont stop, we wont break this cycle, its like a wheel, round and round and round, it wont slow down till we're all wrinkled up like a raisin and stop working. Yes, thats the only time, when we're all weak and pale and tiny and so many people you know have passed on, its only then that you can stop. Even so, the government is constantly raising the retirement age. From 62 now, to 65 in 2012. And who knows, by the time i'm all wrinkled up, the retirement age will be prob 75?! They're also encouraging us to have more babies, more babies = more $$ = more work. >.<" 

If we stop this cycle for now, we'll struggle hard in future, with the rising costs of living, (yea,I learnt that in history) and miserable pay. If we do not stop this cycle, we'll struggle all the way till we're raisins. So either way, we struggle all the same. It cant even be stopped -.- Maybe only suicide,( no its not an option), but maybe even after you kill yourself, the angels will look down on you in heaven, or if you see the late goh keng swee, he'll look down on u too. Tsk. Okay, I shouldnt be making heaven sound so horrid. Its supposed to be a serene place x.x

Alright, I'm done with my ranting, feeling much better. I shall get my balls rolling and go back to doing work now. LOL. I'm like contradicting myself. After typing so much, I end with a sentence, admitting defeat. ): But ah, thats the way it is. :D

Pauline: HEY ! jeannie jean , happy midautumn festival ! ;D
Hey :D Happy late midautumn too! (:

Dil: roar!!
*whimpers* HAHAHHA.